College Football Pick’em – Week 11

Oregon-USC 2019

We’re rounding out to third base on the college football regular season. (Is using a baseball metaphor illegal in college football context?)

This weekend, four undefeateds (sic) will clash in what is expected to be the biggest weekend of the regular season: No. 1 2 LSU at No. 2 3 Alabama, and No. 4 Penn State vs No. 17… Minnesota?

AND GUESS WHO WILL BE ATTENDING A WEDDING SATURDAY AFTERNOON!?

I love the couple, don’t get me wrong, but scheduling your wedding on an autumn Saturday — especially in the southeastern United States — should carry a mandatory jail sentence of 14 weeks.

The father of the bride is a Tennessee fan. I feel like this is intentional sabotage or some form of macro-aggression against the world for the Vols’ failures.

Faux Betting Status Through Week 10

Starting Pool$1,000.00
Current Funds$392.07

Sigh.

Picks Status Through Week 10

Straight Picks*72 / 101
Percentage*71%
Points*443 / 550
Score*80%

*Week 7 picks were not saved to ESPN’s College Football Pick’em. Actual score is less.

Despite my Week 7 gaffe of forgetting to post my picks to ESPN, I am once again back in 1st place (of 2) in my Pick’em group.

All I do is win.

10. Clemson -32 over NC State

The ACC is so, so weak this year. I’m not sure who I would rank higher between the SEC and Big Ten, but the ACC is definitely the weakest of the Power 5 conferences.

9. Oklahoma -14 over Iowa State

Oklahoma won’t lose again through the Big 12 Championship, of which they’ll take the crown. Their game (games?) against Baylor will reveal the Bears for the frauds that they (probably) are.

8. Boise State -13 over Wyoming

Oooo, a pure Mountain West conference game featuring two teams that actually have decent resumes. However, the Cowboys have been inconsistent offensively and have to travel to Boise, which I assume is under 14 feet of snow by now. Broncos bigly.

7. Wisconsin -9.5 over Iowa

Who are the Badgers? Who are the Hawkeyes? What kind of a team are they?

Does it really matter? Whomever wins the Big Ten West is getting curb-stomped by Ohio State or Penn State (probably Ohio State).

6. Notre Dame -8 over Duke

Notre Dame being forced to play five ACC opponents per season really ruins what’s supposed to be Notre Dame’s luster. This is a horrible match-up on both sides of the ball and I honestly think Notre Dame could win by 30, but they are so, so wildly inconsistent. Plus, Brian Kelly has shown himself to be utterly pathetic in halftime adjustments. If Duke gets up early, this won’t end well, but I just can’t in good conscience pick Duke football to win a marquee football game.

5. Kansas State +7 over Texas

Texas is back not back.

4. Penn State -6.5 over Minnesota

Believe it or not, computer projects have Penn State only winning this game by 3 points. Three! If Minnesota wins this game, I’ll write a poem about gophers.

3. Alabama over LSU +6

Here’s the deal. I was raised an Alabama fan, and I retain that fandom with the lone exception of when they play my alma mater, Middle Tennessee (which went about how you would expect in 2015).

I hate this game. I hate it because every single year it’s three hours (or five hours due to CBS) of extreme stress, pacing, and exhaustion. And this year is the worst I’ve felt about the game… maybe ever.

LSU’s offense looks unstoppable. As long as I’ve watched SEC football in my relatively short life, I’ve never, ever, known LSU to put up the record-shattering offensive numbers they are. Now combine that with the fact that Alabama’s injury-laden defense might be the worst Nick Saban has fielded since his first season in 2007 where the Tide went 7-6… err, technically 2-6 but whatever.

LSU’s defense is good, but fallible. Tua is most likely going to play, so the Tide should be able to match LSU’s offensive output. But will that be enough?

Man, I just don’t know. My heart says pick Alabama, but my brain says pick LSU.

Alabama 43, LSU 42

2. Baylor -2.5 over TCU

Until the Bears play Oklahoma, these frauds get to keep up the charade.

1. Arizona State -1.5 over USC

¯\_(ツ)_/¯